2008 word was H O P E

Going into last year, we had been thru some hard times as a family. Mike had experienced some 40 days in hospitals and was still really depressed, he had lost his job and our future was looking uncertain. I thought it was time to chose an action word, that would really remind me of things to come. So I looked and prayed and chose HOPE.

When you look up the wikipedia definition of Hope; Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Then I went to the Word of God...

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 31:24
You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. Job 11:18
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
Psalm 33:20
Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. 1 Peter 1:21
But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.
Micah 7:7
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

in the middle of the summer when things went downhill so fast and then got worse and worse I found myself with this song in my heart...
Beauty from Pain by Superchick
The lights go out all around me One last candle to keep out the night And then the darkness surrounds me I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died And all that's left is to accept that it's over My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made I try to keep warm but i just grow colder I feel like i'm slipping away After all this has passed, i still will remain After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain Though it won't be today, Someday i'll hope again And there'll be beauty from pain You will bring beauty from my pain My whole world is the pain inside me The best i can do is just get through the day When life before is only a memory I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place And though i can't understand why this happened I know that i will when i look back someday And see how you've brought beauty from ashes And made me as gold purified through these flames After all this has passed, i still will remain After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain Though it won't be today, Someday i'll hope again And there'll be beauty from pain You will bring beauty from my pain Here i am, at the end of me Tryin to hold to what i can't see I forgot how to hope This night's been so long I cling to Your promise There will be a dawn After all this has passed, i still will remain After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain Though it won't be today, Someday i'll hope again And there'll be beauty from pain You will bring beauty from my pain

Its not that I have lost anything this year, I have at times laughed so hard I cried, I have danced in the rain and cried too many tears, I have an amazing support system and even built in quiet times but I have stomped, pounded my fists and been near the end... I believe I understand now that God knows all this and that He can handle it, there is no plan B, He is still in charge and on the throne and when Mike is well it will be for His glory..... I will however admit that I am struggling with my word. HOPE... I thought it would be a feel good word.... a comforting word, a word that would be light to my soul and yet its at times harsh and so far away, something I can't grasp or find my in heart..... I am almost afraid to chose a word for this year.... I mean really its got to get better, right?