NOT me Monday my first try

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to My Charming kids her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Here goes, its my first time...
*I most certainly did not pull the covers over my head this morning when the alarm went off, I looked around and both dogs were snoring, what is the use of getting up....
*I didn't drink 3 diet cokes and skip lunch on Friday 'cause I was just too steamed to eat
*I am not thinking of making my own birthday cake and taking it to work tomorrow
*My head did not spin several times last week when Dish Network took $500 from my bank account and have not called 5 times a day thus far and still don't have my money, no that doesn't happen to nice people like me.
*Mike was sick today and I did not calmly call his nurse and ask why he has not seen a doctor yet, and when the nurse told me they didn't know anything about it and would check into it, I smiled and asked for a phone call back, I didn't swear outloud when that nurse told me they wouldn't be calling me back when they found out an answer. I did however hang up and call back and speak to his bosses boss about the rude way I was treated.
*I did not walk around the store after Tami and Cori did a clean sweep and take back of the items they marked for sale and put them in my secret hiding place.
*I did not agree that Cori could work a Saturday coming up just so I could sleep in
*I do not think about calling in sick everyday only to convince myself I have no real good reason to stay home
*I am not going to have take out for dinner tonight 'cause I am lacking the creativity and gumption to make something good and healthy...
I would not, I did not and I would deny it if you asked me....