Tuesday, April 29, 2008

...no chair... meet DENIAL


I read a blog awhile ago that really made me think. I can't remember how I got there or I would give proper credit.

The jest of it was that we allow people to hurt us, we give them permission by continually allowing them into our lives with hurtful statements or actions.

Hawthorne said this "Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become, in the hands of one who knows how to combine them!"

Holmes said this "A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used."

These last few weeks I have been going thru a trial with someone significant in my life, its taken me deep into a place I haven't been of sadness and grief and then I made a decision, a weird one really.... I was suddenly faced with a choice... to allow the hurt to continue to want to pull the covers over my head everyday or to make a decision. You see I was introduced to "DENIAL"

"Denial is the psychological process by which human beings protect themselves from things which threaten them by blocking knowledge of those things from their awareness. It is a defense which distorts reality; it keeps us from feeling the pain and uncomfortable truth about things we do not want to face. If we cannot feel or see the consequences of our actions, then everything is fine and we can continue to live without making any changes. "

It came down to survival or deep depression, if you know me at all I would not make a fun depressed person. It would be like wearing the wrong size shoes all the time and wondering why people looked at you so funny.

In the meantime I am liking Denial, its working great. What isn't working is when the hurtful person reappears suddenly and catches me with my defenses up on the shelf and I cry. I don't like to cry.


If I just will remember this statement.....

"I will not set a chair for you at my table"

Then I have the power to choose and accept the consequences thereof...

4 comments:

Bfun1 said...

Though your post is "deep thoughts" - I just want to say WOW, it hits home! If I can do anything for you I am here to do anything for you! I want to sit with you at your table! Love ya!

Becky said...

Thinking of you.....{{hug}}.

Cori said...

I'm right there with you baby...I'll be your denial buddy and then we can cry together....Love ya

erin said...

I'm sorry things are still rough at home. I am hoping to come and scrap soon! Mark is in finals right now, but maybe in the next week or two :-) Hope things get a little better...
-Erin.