can I get an amen?

You know how I try really hard on my blog to be thankful? Or to bring to mind the positive? Well you know how there are seasons where there are alligators niping are you ankles and when you talk on the phone its like you are speaking chinese and they are speaking in rely greek and you don't know either?

That was my day! I have to laugh. I know I know the right thing is to pray for these souls and to ask God for grace. But in reality I want to get little dolls all lined up on my desk and a good healthy supply of pins for poking.

This week high on my list is my health insurance company case manager who tells she will call me back and never does, the 3rd party administrator who approves mental health benefits, most people I have interacted with at a hospital with the exception the parking attendants and the candy stripers. WOW thats a lot of people, I need more pins.

What about you? Thankful or plotting? just thought i would see how much room I need in my boat. I know one friend who would like to stage a real life Law and Order scene on her boss, one girl who is wading thru the swamps of a new home purchase and the mortgage/appraisal/home inspection folks are like little piranha's at her feet, and a few friends who are building homes but they are so stinkin' happy go lucky they probably won't complain already.

PS I forgot to mention the "snitch" at work who decided that I spent too much on the phone, "ring ring" Hello someone tell her I do outgoing customer service and its my job!" I will need some special kind of thank you for her.....

August 10th -National Lazy Day

Random fact I ran into today while watching the olympics, and surfing blogs, today is Lazy day. Fun. I did sleep in a bit, but it was planned, Savanny is doing laundry but not too much. Mike is hanging and the dogs are around. I love watching the olympics its exciting to find someone to root for.

I was thinking today about blogging, I use this place as a sounding board, a place to talk things out or for the store, to celebrate someone's life or accomplishment and to seek comfort. Why do you blog? Are their things that are off limits on blogging? I am thinking of separtating this blog from the store blog. Making a whole new one devoted to crafting, stamping, scrapping and paper fun. Keeping one that is more about family, life and stuff. What do you think? Tell me what blogs mean to you!

Summer

Today is rained. Big drops, it was fun, I like summer rain it reminds me that God is in control. We think of summer as HOT, long days with swimming or boating, or staying inside where its cool. Today I wished that I could have ran out in the rain and played! But instead I worked away and watched from my window.

I was thinking today about what summer looks like to so many. We aren't travelling this summer or going on a vacation like so many families. Instead we are working on much greater things. But there is something to be sad for an escape, something for a long day at a lake or near a river with just nature, or kids laughing in the distance as they splash. Cori and Tami recently spent a week in Idaho near a river, fishing and playing and riding 4-wheeelers. Some of my friends camp every weekend or spend time on their boats. What do you do for fun? How do you escape? I would love to see a project, card, or layout demonstrating how you enjoy summer. You can bring it into the store or upload it to your blog, or email me a pic and I will pick a winner! Someone will win a fun prize just for playing along!

Did you know today was 08-08-08, I remember that 08-08-1988 we had a black and white crazy 8s party. Today I worked on just staying awake, my how times have changed! To be young and free again, WOW!

(Mike is home, we are in transition and praying God would order our steps. We know that its going to take a tremendous amount of work on God's part for Mike to be well, and also some painful work for Mike to walk thru therapy, treatment or whatever he needs to do to gain control of his mind. In the meantime we try to live life. Whatever that means.) I am dreaming of a dock, a lake with a shallow beach and a good book with some friends closeby, but its not looking like that this weekend.

Thursday and Friday

Amanda is working tomorrow at the store

and Tami on Friday. You have to go and check out the new lines from PIGGY TALES. If you have boys you are going to love this!!!!!

Thanks for all your love and support about Mike and his hospitalization. We have a family meeting tomorrow at the hospital. We need wisdom and peace. Its been almost a month of twists and turns.

For today.

"As a mother, my job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible." Ruth Bell Graham.

If you have known me for very long you know that I am horribly stubborn! I do not give up easily. Well I think I came to the place very unwillingly and unknowingly had to give up the idea that I could do anything to help Mike get well.

"Depression is the inability to construct a future”
I can't convince Mike the future looks bright when he keeps his eyes closed

“A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work" I can't convince Mike that he just needs to do some work but his body is screaming sleep

"You don't have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you."
I wish I could stop his mind/thoughts from spinning so fast. But I CAN'T!

Maybe this is what depression is live. "That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key"

Its all so contrary to what I know and believe.....
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

It was all I could do to make it thru my 8-5 job. I did it with a lot of help from my friends. I then made a decision. I came home, got in bed with the covers over my head with the dogs. And that is where I stayed.

Mike and the weekend update

I took 2 hours off this morning to let my mind rest. I returned home about 11pm last nite from Spokane.
Here's the readers digest of the weekend:
1:45am Mike codes on 6C at Sacred Heart and is taken to the ER
3:15 I provide a medical history to the ER to help find out why he coded
4:15 he is resting and breathing on his own
6:15 nurse said he is resting and still breathing well
8:00 to the ICU
10:00 to the CCU unit
All this time I am helping with a yard sale at the store
Too many tests later Mike tells me he has been run over by not 1 semi truck but 2!
Tons of blood work and vitals he is stable
Sundaty he is laughing and joking with me, he showered and shaved and looked half way normal again. It was nice. I was told at 10:15 he was going to be transferred back to the psych unit.
5:20pm still no change. We enjoyed the afternoon watching tv, visiting and hanging out. It was nice. We walked to the hospital coffee bar and had mochas.
5:40 he was taken to the psych unit, his smile disappeared, he turned from mostly normal to hopeless and distraught, he was anxious and sad. We thought he was going to the open unit and he instead was taken back to the acute unit. In the acute unit there is not stimulation and mike does not do well in that. I had been waiting all day to speak with the psych, I was told he was already gone for the day, I insisted on seeing/speaking with him, the nurses continued to tell me that it wasn't possible and I continued to tell her that I was going too. The doctor agreed to come and see us. We met and determined Mike did need more stimulation and he could go to the open unit. If there wasn't a bed he could visit over there and then just sleep in the acute. It took a few more hours, a few more misunderstandings, etc by 8pm Mike's back hurt so bad, he was beyond frustrated and done. Just done dealing with nurses and waking up in different hospital beds.

This morning I have checked on him he didn't sleep but he did eat breakfast. I was able to talk with the nurse and once they look at discharges then they will see when he can move. I am holding her to this. He knows that in order to get well/come home he has to be in the open unit where there is therapy, etc.

The internist did tell us that Mike coded because they over medicated him with hypertension meds. Also a combination of being dehydrated and too many meds almost killed him. NICE

Needless to say our medical journey has tons of twists and turns that are unexpected and at times scary. I am trying to just look for the things that remind me God is still in control.

who knew?

Just a quick update. I am in Spokane, I spent the day with Mike. He is currently on a cardiac floor at Sacred Heart. He is doing pretty well. He is much less confused and seems to be recovering from his unknown weird episode Friday nite.

I tried to find a hotel for 90 mins and had no luck, I had waited too long to use priceline or hotels.com finally after making over 20 phone calls I called The Davenport in desperation and they had a room. They even gave me a Sacred Heart Rate. After not sleeping since 2am I am ready to crash. I will update more tomorrow. I am sooo thankful GOD provided me a place to lay my head and rest.